With April 1st, Some Fools Jokes
Webster defines a fool as one who is deficient in intellect; “one who asked abruptly are pursues a course contrary to the date takes of common sense and wisdom.’ In honor of the April 1 observance, I’m listing a few examples that fit that description.
When a fire erupted in a large building belonging to a young man in Tucson, Arizona, he called 911 for help in extinguishing the blaze. Shortly after the fire department showed up, police cars began to arrive. The young man was escorted away in handcuffs as officer’s shot photos and took inventory of the large crop of marijuana plants he was growing inside.
Disguised as a mustached custodian and concealing a bucket of fresh cow manure, a jilted Australian woman sneaked into the church or her former boyfriend was about to be married. She intended to douse the groom with the slimy contents as he entered the building, but found him surrounded by friends and inaccessible. She opted instead for the bride and emptied the bucket on the poor girl’s head. The jealous perpetrator was chased down and arrested. She later pleaded guilty to assault and other charges and was forced to pay restitution for her actions but did not succeed in stopping the wedding, however, and the ceremony proceeded as planned. But the bride had to settle for wearing one of the bridesmaids dresses.
An Ohio man in his late 20s walked into a police station with a 9 inch wire protruding from his four head. He asked officers to give him an x-ray to help him find his brain, which he claimed had been stolen. Police were shocked to learn that the man had used a power drill to bore a hole in his own skull and had stuck in the wire to try to find his missing brain.
Memphis bandleader Eddie Bond made a regretful decision back in 1954 when he was listening to singers auditioning for his group and a nervous $40 a week truck driver stepped on the stage with his guitar. Before he finished his second number, and he chuckled at the young singer’s style and told him to step down. “Listen, boy,” he said, “you better stick to truck driving because you’re never going to make it as a singer.” So Elvis Presley decided to take his style elsewhere.
Two janitors at a California high school were attempting to trap a large gopher on the loose in the school hallways. After finally cornering the elusive animal in a utility room, they sprayed it with numerous cans of solvent used to remove gum from floors. A third janitor entered the room to watch the activity and decided to light his pipe. The vapors instantly ignited, blasting the man out of the room injuring themselves and several students. The gophers scampered outside to an adjacent field of dried grass words smoldering fur ignited a large fire.
Police in Los Angeles, who thought they’d heard everything, had a new one to add to their list of incriminating comments by stupid suspects. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, “Give me all your money, are I’ll shoot!” One of the suspects shouted, ” No, no, that’s not what I said!”
An excited and frantic Medford, Oregon man called the local hospital and nervously told the nurse that his wife was pregnant and her contractions were only 2 minutes apart. When the nurse asked if this was her first child, he said, “No I’m her husband!”
When a Royal Canadian Mounties found a man meandering down a long stretch of desolate highway in his boxer shorts, he stopped to investigate. The man explained that his wife had been driving their car while he napped in a travel trailer that they were towing. When she stopped for some deer that were crossing the road, he stepped out of the trailer to see what was going on. As soon as the road was clear, she stepped on the gas and proceeded on her way, leaving her husband stranded in his underwear. The officer drove 70 miles before catching up with her.
As an April fools joke and 1989, a Seattle television station reported that the space needle had fallen over. Immediately, emergency phone lines were overwhelmed with calls, and over 700 calls were placed directly to the needles switchboard. A frantic Spokane father rushed to his car and started the drive to Seattle because his daughter worked at the facility.
A man and a woman in Andover Township, New Jersey, were both hospitalized with injuries after a quarter stick of dynamite exploded in their moving car. After the couple had spent a night of drinking they decided it would be fun to startle a quiet neighborhood at 3 AM by lighting the dynamite stick and tossing it out the window. Their scheme proceeded as planned until they forgot to first roll down the window.
When an Ohio man experience gas line freeze in his car he decided that he needed to warm the gasoline, so a placed a bucket of the fuel on his kitchen stove. When he turned on the burner the fumes exploded and immediately engulfed the kitchen in fire. The flames quickly spread to the rest of the house into the adjoining garage. He tried in vain to start his car, but the fuel line was still frozen. In the end, the fire completely destroyed his house, the garage, and his car.
A pair of would-be robbers entered the Detroit record shop nervously waving guns and announcing that it was a stick up. The first man shouted, “Don’t anybody move!” When his partner moved, the first bandit shot him.
Who was the dummy here? A New Jersey sheriff’s deputy needed a snooze while on duty in the guard shack at the Somerset County Courthouse, so he propped up a uniformed dummy in his place, complete with hat, sunglasses and badge. When the switch was discovered by a citizens stopping at the window for information, the deputy was suspended for three weeks without pay.
An Illinois man pretended to have a gun, hijacked a motorist and forced her to drive to two different automated teller machines. The kidnapper then proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank account.
Police in Oakland, California, spent hours in a standoff with a man whom they believed to be armed and had barricaded himself inside his home. After they resorted to firing tear gas canisters through the Windows, they realized the man had been standing the whole while outside the police barricade tape shouting “please come out and give yourself up.”
A new employee in a Houston law office told her manager that something was wrong with their fax machine because it was sending sending only the cover sheet and a blank page. The manager watched as the girl recent the documents, then asked why she folded the second sheet with the print inside. ” I was told this is confidential information,” she said, “so I don’t want anyone to open it but the recipient.”