The Difference Maker

by Michael Berry on August 11, 2015

Personal development has been around, in some form, for generations. Countless books outline the importance of being a positive person with a winning attitude to create success. Many of these books have been best sellers for decades. While there is no doubt of its worth, this seems to be easier said than done. Many people, after reading these books, generate fake enthusiasm. While this may be a mild improvement, it cannot compare to the energy and vitality created by real enthusiasm.

Our personal development program offers many exercises to create enough perspective, understanding and powerful new habits of thinking about yourself and your circumstances to create real and lasting change. But there is one difference-maker that combines all of this into something big; this critical concept goes against all modern conditioning belief systems and is the make-it-or-break-it for your success. Furthermore, only you can be responsible for it.

Your number one asset in life is your happiness level. To achieve true success that goes far beyond financial rewards, happiness is the key.

This is not the kind of happiness that comes from having an abundance of money or friends, but the kind of happiness that comes from learning and accomplishing, from freely creating your life. It is deep and abides at the core of your being. And there is simply nothing like it.

There may have been many points in your life when things have come together in a good way. These are the magic little moments that when remembered, we can’t help but smile. It is that feeling and those times we want to become more connected to, and that we want to create more of. Those are magic moments that live outside of time. By this we mean when we revisit them, we connect with that moment just like it happened yesterday, even if that moment was many decades ago. We get the same feeling and the same satisfaction as the original event.

Our painful moments also live outside of time, but for a different reason. In our times of loss or failure there is unfinished business, incomplete thoughts and confusion. This incompleteness tends to act like a magnet for our attention. Because these moments are painful, we tend to avoid them and never revisit them thoroughly enough to gain the clarity necessary for us to close the book on them completely.

Whenever there is something we don’t understand that is associated with pain and loss, we can’t help but to keep it alive in our consciousness. We feel it would be dangerous not to; it is our fight or flight response attempting to keep us safe.


Fear and pain are very powerful influences. They are very human; everyone has them. Take special care and make note when you are fearful or in pain. Carefully notice the decisions you make and the actions you take when feeling this way. Observe your pattern; this is something you will want to gain control over.

When you Fix Your Mix, your goal is to do two things. First and foremost, you can Journal about times in your life that you were totally happy. These are the times when, regardless of whatever else was happening, this moment gave you joy. Journal about this moment until it becomes as real as possible to you. Become fully connected with the moment. Take your time and don’t bypass this moment. The temptation will be to tell the complete story in your journaling, but don’t. Your task isn’t to tell a story, it is just to make that moment real, or as real as you can. The great news is that you can revisit this moment many times to get refilled with its positive pleasure.

The second goal is to Journal about a painful or confusing moment from the past. Your task here is to Journal just long enough to have some particular detail become clear in your mind about this moment that was not clear before. This can be even the smallest detail. Then stop. Immediately take up a positive moment as in the above and continue.

If you are the kind of person who wants to do extra credit and go the extra mile, on this task the extra mile is to stop at the appropriate time, at the peak of your experience.

Personal development is our business and our life.
Michael Berry
In personal development we learn that “we all see and experience the world not as it is, but as we are”.

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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Jane Araguel November 19, 2011 at 10:35 am

Being a difference maker requires some things which so many people lack or do not have time for. Writing about both good and bad situations helps in identifying your weaknesses and hence you can work well with this in mind.

Jane Araguel November 21, 2011 at 5:23 am

In life we often remember things of the past whether beautiful or painful memories . I think people should focus more on the good memories and if there were any bad or ugly experiences then they need to learn from them.

Michael Berry November 22, 2011 at 7:06 am

You got it.

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